Daddy's Rules for Dating
by The Proverbial Pen
Summary: Trucy is growing up fast—too fast for Phoenix's taste. Now that she's gotten to the age where she's thinking of dating, dear Daddy Wright decides that its time to lay down some ground rules... (Spoilers for Apollo Justice and I guess maybe a few Dual Destinies things)


Things had been going well for the Wright Anything Agency. Athena was overjoyed by Simon's acquittal and had spent almost every waking moment of the past few months with him. She helped him move in and get re-accustomed to "life outside of the clink," as Simon had put it. The odd two were like inseparable siblings—at least, outside of the courtroom. Apollo, of course, struggled for a few months after his best friend's death. However, with the support of everyone at the agency, the Clarion of Revelations was back on his feet, filled with the determination to live out his dream just as he promised Clay. He and Athena were also receiving a steady influx of cases and client requests. Trucy was doing better after the Phantom fiasco as well. The popularity of her magic shows was increasing every day, thanks in part to her new stage name, "Trucy Gramarye, Magician Extraordinaire." She and Apollo also had another reason to celebrate. With the "Dark Age of the Law" finally coming to a close, Phoenix decided that it was finally time to reveal one last surprise. Once Apollo had started to feel better, Phoenix revealed Lamiroir's true identity: Thalassa Gramarye, biological mother of Apollo and Trucy. This of course meant that the two now knew that they were half-siblings. Trucy had been ecstatic, while Apollo took more time to register the facts. Nevertheless, they were both happy to finally see their long lost mother. Yes, things couldn't be better for everyone at the Wright Anything Agency. Well, almost everyone…

Phoenix Wright was pacing around his office like the nervous wreck he was. Why, one may ask? Well, for the same reason any man with a teenage daughter would be, of course: his darling little girl, the light of his life, had just asked him for permission to go on a date. A _date_. With a guy. _Alone_. Phoenix responded as any normal father would in his situation—he screamed an innumerable amount of "no's", gestured frantically, ran into his office, and then slammed the door. Yup, he handled the situation perfectly. And by perfectly, I mean he panicked. Bravo, Mr. Wright. Bravo indeed.

As the Comeback King strode back and forth through the room, he mentally debated with himself on whether or not he should allow his baby girl to go out with some greasy little punk. "_Oh my gosh,_" he thought. "_Trucy wants to date. __**My**__ Trucy wants to date. This cannot be happening. She's growing up so fast! What do I do? I can't just say no! She'll hate me if I do!"_ Phoenix briefly interrupted his ranting with a loud groan. He dragged his hands down his face as his footsteps quickened. "_Maybe I can get Thalassa to talk her out of it…No, she wouldn't agree with me. I mean, it's perfectly natural for kids Trucy's age to want to date. It will be fine, right? Yeah, she'll be fine." _

Phoenix stopped his pacing and smiled in an attempt to reassure himself of his decision. However, his smile soon fell just as quickly as it had come, and worries began to run through his mind again. "_But…but what if something goes wrong? What if he hurts her? Or takes advantage of her? What if she isn't able to protect herself? Worse yet, what if it works out and she leaves me!? What if I lose my baby girl forever?! No, no, no, no, no, no," _repeated Phoenix over and over again. His pacing once again quickened as panic ensued once more. His hand found its way to his attorney's badge and he began to fiddle with it nervously.

"_Hold on, Nick, calm down. Breathe…," _Phoenix gradually slowed his breathing and pacing and attempted to grab hold of his out of control emotions. "_Okay, Wright, think. You were a teenager once too. If I hold her back now, she'll never be able to grow. She needs time to figure things out on her own. I suppose I have no choice then. But still…I __**have**__ to make sure that nothing goes wrong. Maybe I could follow them on their date? No, if they caught me, she and Thalassa would both give me an earful...Maybe I could write up a contract for the kid to sign? No, that's just stupid...I could try threatening him? Phoenix, you are literally the least intimidating person ever. Besides, the little punk's parents might press charges..." _

The exasperated lawyer let out another deep groan and threw his head back in frustration. He plopped down on his office couch and let his eyes wander his room. Eventually, they came to rest upon the laptop that Trucy made him buy to replace Mia's old computer. Phoenix contemplated for a moment, but then got up and walked to his desk. He opened up the laptop's screen and logged on. The computers cursor found its way to the internet browser shortcut and promptly opened up to the Google search engine. Phoenix typed in "what to do if your daughter wants to date", the hit "enter". His eyes scanned the search results until he came across a link that caught his eye. He clicked on it and then proceeded to read the webpage. A devious smile crept its way onto the over-protective father's face. "Now this," said Phoenix, thinking aloud. "This might just do..."

* * *

_*Knock* *Knock*_

_"_Come in."

The door swung open to reveal Apollo Justice, who, because it was his day off, was clad in jeans, a white-T-shirt, and a red jacket. Though always ready to help out at the office, he was obviously confused about why he had been called in. Frankly, Phoenix was just as confused as his employee; for he could have sworn that smooth jazz music [1] started playing when Apollo had walked in. He decided to pay it no mind.

"So, Mr. Wright, you, uh, needed me for something?" asked Apollo while rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Yes, thank you for coming in. I'm sorry for calling you in on your day off; I just need you to read something for me and give me some feedback," the veteran attorney replied. He held out a notebook and flashed a friendly smile—_too_ friendly, even.

"Oooookay then," Apollo said hesitantly. "So, what is it that I'm reading exactly? Is it a new case file or something?"

"Oh, you'll see…"

Okay, now Apollo was scared. The knowing and mischievous look that flashed across his mentor's face sent chills down Apollo's spine. Nevertheless, not one willing to incur the wrath of his boss, he cautiously took the notebook from Phoenix's hand. The owner of said hand's eyes locked on to his protégé, making Apollo shift back and forth nervously. Taking one last worried glance at his expectant boss, the young lawyer looked back down at the notebook and began reading.

_Rule One: You will treat my daughter with love and respect. You will do everything in your power to make her happy. You make her cry and I promise you that I will make you cry._

"Um, Mr. Wright?" Apollo asked, worry and confusion filling his voice. Phoenix gave a little hum, urging his apprentice to go on. "What is this?"

Phoenix shrugged and looked at Apollo with a coy smile. "Just keep reading Apollo. I'll explain when you're done." Apollo quirked an eyebrow at his boss' response, but continued to read.

_Rule Two: You are never to go anywhere where you two are completely alone. If you have the gall to go on a date with my daughter to a place where you are isolated, I will find out, I will find __**you**__, and no one will __**ever**__ find your body._

_ "Okay, this is mildly disturbing," _thought Apollo. Regardless, he kept going.

_Rule Three: If you glace at anything below my daughter's neck, I will break yours._

_Rule Four: When you pull up to our home to take my daughter on a date, you will get out of your car and knock on the door like a gentleman. If you honk instead, I will assume that you are a troublemaker and subsequently proceed to press charges for disturbing the peace. Remember, son: I am a lawyer._

_Rule Five: I am sure you are aware that my daughter is a magician. If you even __**dare**__ to mock her about it, the rabbits will not be the only thing vanishing._

_Rule Six: Do not try to make small talk with me. I do not care about the weather, what the current political standpoints are, or whether or not the Angels are doing well this season. All I care about is when you are bringing my daughter home, and that answer best be "early"_

_Rule Seven: The following places are not acceptable for dates: places involving dark rooms, anything softer than a steel bench, or physical contact of any kind; places where there is dancing which requires the two of you to be less than four feet away from each other; movies with strong romantic or sexual themes; and places where it is hot enough to cause my daughter to remove her cape or wear shorts, tank tops (particularly the "spaghetti strap" variety), or mid-riff T-shirts. _

_Rule Eight: If you are dating my daughter with __**any **__ulterior motives other than to make happy (you know what I'm talking about), then I suggest you start running. Don't forget, I was a teenager too once. I know the signs, and if I see them, I will hunt you down. I have investigated many a crime scene, and I am well aware of how to hide or dispose of evidence. You have been warned._

_Rule Nine: You will dress appropriately anytime you are around my daughter. If any part of your underwear is showing when you come to my door, I will personally super glue your pants to your waist._

_Rule Ten: There are __**very**__ few things that you should be afraid of more than me. You may think of me as an "old has-been", but I guarantee that you are __**nothing**__ compared to what I have been through. I have survived being tasered, being physically beaten twice, being threatened by the mob, a hostage situation, dealing with the mafia, falling through a burning bridge, and getting thrown at least thirty feet by car and slamming my head on a pole. If you think that I can't handle some punk kid who thinks he has a shot with my daughter, you are __**dead**__ wrong—emphasis on the "dead"._

Apollo couldn't help but laugh at what he had just read. He had to admit, he didn't think that ol' Wright had it in him. "I guess you've finally gotten around to laying down some ground rules for Trucy, huh?" he asked, still chuckling at the crazy list that his boss had put together.

"Ha ha ha ha, I suppose you could say that," replied Phoenix, joining in on Apollo's laughter.

"I've got to hand it to you Mr. Wright—these are amazing!"

Phoenix smiled, happy to see that his plan had worked out. Of course, Phoenix didn't actually own a gun or a license yet, though he was set on procuring them in the near future. He certainly did have the connections to do so. Maybe he'd give the Chief Prosecutor a call later…

"So, why now?"

"Excuse me?" said Phoenix. He turned back to his apprentice, only to find a confused look once more.

"Why did you decide to write these up now? Finally realize that she's getting to that age?"

Phoenix rubbed the back of his neck and bit his lip before chuckling nervously. "Well, you see," he started, eyes closed. "Trucy kind of asked me if it would be alright for her to go on a date next week."

"…"

"...Um, Apo—"

"Mr. Wright?"

"…Yes?"

"…Could you please pass me that pen?"

* * *

Hey, thank you for reading my first Ace Attorney fan fiction! I really hope that you enjoyed it. This is based off of this hilarious list that I found online called "Daddy's Rules for Dating". It should be the first thing that pops up on in Google if you search it. As you can see, I'll be doing a follow up chapter in which Apollo makes his own list. Reviews are more than welcome!

[1] This is referring to Apollo's theme that plays in Dual Destinies, though I'm not to sure on what genre it would be classified as...


End file.
